Nancy asks whether I am learning from Wannabe – so I thought it was time to resurface. I have had a few topics to write about but I kept thinking I should put some extra thought into it. Last few weeks have seen me extremely tied up with work, trying to find a balance between work and life with too much of both, refusing social engagements and dealing with fatigue. So my instinct to pick up the laptop after returning late from work or during the weekend was squashed. I did manage to write part of a post on paper and found it to be a difficult exercise – I write slower and fall over my words in a hurry!!! It is a bit like speaking in Malayalam for me (being out of touch).
A few things stand out in my mind about the last few weeks:
- 20-th anniversary of Tiannamen Square massacre – reminded me of the impact of the news when I was still in 10-th Std. It makes me question today, what am I doing that can change the life of people?
- Air France disappearing over the Atlantic – even if the May Day call had come are we equipped to react to tragedies far over the ocean? – it really takes you back to the Titanic day. When I heard it I thought of my French friend who traveled to another country just the day before and sat numb when I thought of how I would react if he disappeared one day from my life. I just found in the twitter update of another friend that he had flowen over the area just an hour before the Air France flight – I shudder to think it could have been him. It is surely a time to reach out to all those who mean so much to us
- Memorial Day: Belgium celebrates the Memorial Day every year. An article in the Bulletin (an expat magazine) calls for people to remember the American soldiers buried in the Belgian soil far away from home – to remember those who died fighting courageously for the freedom of people far away from their lives. It asks us to put away skepticism of fighting wars away from home and to take a look at the prosperous lives in the Western Europe every time we think of “unnecessary” wars. Can we hope to have a Europe-like Afghanistan or Iraq?
In the meantime we celebrated our 10-th wedding anniversary away from each other raising the question – ok! How much longer is this going to continue? We had 2 long weekends together soon after and just before. I find that weekends together are becoming dreadful in anticipation of the impending separation at the end of it.
“End it if it is making you unhappy” – says Mummy who knows me well.
“Why don’t you just come back?” – says husband.
A close friend from IMD resigned to take a break and relax – oh! If only I could find the courage to do so and pursue something I always wanted to do… in the meantime happiness about staying here comes in cycles when I concentrate on work and it goes well. Evenings, sitting in a dimly lit living room with the orange glow of the setting sun out of the balcony, cello or piano streaming keep my spirits up and my brains ticking.
The article on changing fashion in the world of classical music got me thinking – even I have phases in which I am completely devoted to one particular type of music or composer. I had a phase of listening all the time to Strauss… Vivaldi with the Four Seasons, later it was Swan Lake, and then came Bach, Beethoven and when I started learning to play the piano it was Satie Gymnopaedie. The article talked about Handel and Mendelssohn – I have not heard much of these though we used to sing “Hallelujah – The Messiah” when we were in school for the church Christmas concert.
2 weeks back husband and I attended a Flamenco concert. On the way to the concert I bought a CD on Gregorian Chants with an amazing Cello fit to bring in the dusk. Yet, it competes with Hariprasad Chaurasia, L. Shankar and carnatic classical violin pieces. Today I sit with Music Trois playing piano in low bass.
4 completed books and the 5-th one on its way to getting completed, 2 long weekends and a music festival – there are plenty of topics to write about. The question is where to start… – perhaps the half written post from the paper to electronic format will make a good beginning.